The (much awaited?) return

I am back.

After such a long absence, I am finally able to gather enough will to publish some of my scribbles and musings. The several previous months had been my blue period, coloured with extra laziness and lacking any motivation to do anything constructive. Da Fonz has been nagging me to write something, but I argued that I have no time, which was the truth a few months ago, and I have no idea what to write. Writing has never been my forte and I think that it will never be my favourite past time, as I have always prefer to draw or simply read someone’s pieces than mine. Realizing that, since I would like to think that I am an individual that always thirsts over improvement, whether it is in the term of knowledge or character, I decided that this will be my form of exercise.

Interesting point is that I am not sure what to publish. Personally I think that it is too much if I am turning this into a public diary. The idea that there is someone out there in this world to be privy to my darkest thoughts or feelings makes me feel uncomfortable. I am too much of a prude to do so. Just like the British would say, I have a stiff upper lip. O goodness, many said that I am still young and need to loosen up, but the very notion of wearing my heart on my sleeves appalled me. I am definitely not the type to bawl myself over my personal problems in front of national television. Sorry Oprah, but I simply can’t, my sheer dignity and pride will not allow it, but maybe as I mature, I will change my stand. Or not.

Apart from that, I am determined to be active once more. The latest update is I have finally handed in my thesis on January 2007, 3 months late from my personal deadline. My only defence is that it was my blue period, I felt so helpless and confused that I was disgustingly not productive. Da Fonz is going through that period right now, and I believe that everyone will go though it once or twice in their life, simply parts of the nature, like the painful high school time as a hormone enraged teenager or a midlife crisis. My blue period was a combination of seasonal disorder (as I thrive under the sun and Dutch weather is simply unbecoming of me), and the feeling of uncertainty towards my future as I will graduate soon and will be enter the real society as an independent (financially at least) individual. Add financial troubles and great homesickness, I was toast. Really bad.

After several episodes of tantrums and weeping to my heart content (thanks Fonz for your constant support and encouragement), I was finally able to move forward. Now I proudly announced that I have concluded my research and only have to wait for my defence date. Cheers. One down, other challenge is ready to be conquered. Or so I hope. O yeah, I finished my French assignment too after I ploughed over 8 French articles and one classic novel J For this I am indebted to Charles, thank you for checking my grammar mistakes. A beautiful language but it is so difficult and complex. Another point checked from the to-do list! And now this, my dearest blog, welcome me back now!